


Changing Jensen

by kinksock22



Series: Saving Jared [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Werecreatures, Barbed Penis, Barebacking, Birth Control, Biting, Bottom Jared, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Insecure Jensen, Light Angst, M/M, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Jared, Post Mpreg, RPS - Freeform, Schmoop, Self-Lubrication, Werecat Jared, Werecat Jensen, Werecats, cat traits, insecure jared, shifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:50:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5949961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinksock22/pseuds/kinksock22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fourth and final installment. After much discussion, Jared changes Jensen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changing Jensen

Jensen looks up from his computer, smiling when he sees Jared standing in the doorway to his office, leaning against the doorframe, his head tilted slightly to the side, wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung flannel sleeping pants. Jensen’s not sure how long Jared’s been standing there, silently watching him nor can he tell just by the look in those hazel eyes what Jared’s thinking. He’s still learning to read Jared’s expressions, even after going on three years together and he’s definitely gotten better about it but there are still times that he can’t. And that’s starting to bother him more and more.  
  
The longer they’re together, the more Jared can read him, can sense his emotions. Jensen doesn’t have the same ability and while he never thought it’d be an issue, it’s starting to become one. Not with Jared but within himself. There’s always been that small – or sometimes not-so-small – niggling doubt in the back of Jensen’s mind about whether or not he can be the kind of mate that Jared truly needs. If Jensen was like Jared, they’d share a bond, a link, that just isn’t possible with Jensen being human. He can’t sense or scent Jared’s emotions, can’t anticipate his needs or wants, and that weighs heavily on Jensen at times. It wasn’t something that he thought about when they first mated but now it’s something that he thinks about all the time.  
  
Jared smiles back, soft and fond, and pushes off the doorframe, closing the door behind him. He’s got the baby monitor in one hand and Jensen watches as he sets it down on the bookshelf along the wall then closes the rest of the distance between them, his tail swishing slowly, hypnotically, with the slight sway of his hips. Jensen licks his lips, bites down on his bottom one, the slow burn of arousal momentarily overriding his worry.  
  
When Jared gets close enough, Jensen can hear a low purr rumbling in Jared’s throat. His mate crawls into his lap, long arms sliding around his shoulders and Jensen automatically grabs his hips. Jared’s purr grows louder and he dips his head, nosing beneath Jensen’s jaw, nuzzling their cheeks together. Jensen hums happily and slides one hand up Jared’s bare back, tangles his fingers in the long, messy waves of silky-soft hair. He closes his eyes and turns his head, burying his nose in the slightly sweat-slick curve of Jared’s neck and inhales deeply, groaning when he catches a whiff of Jared’s arousal. The sugary-sweet scent is thick – thicker than usual – and Jensen reopens his eyes, brow furrowed.  
  
“Jay?”  
  
Jared sighs softly and slumps against his chest, head resting on Jensen’s shoulder. “Heat’s comin’ up,” Jared damn-near whispers.  
  
Jensen smiles and gently squeezes his arms around Jared, dips down and presses a kiss to his temple. After the kids were born, Jared didn’t have a heat – Jared assured him it was normal right after giving birth. This will be his first heat since the one where he got pregnant. After reconnecting with his sister and best friend Chad, they were able to get Jared birth control from the pride so they don’t have to worry about the possibility of this being a fertile heat. Jensen just needs to worry about taking care of his poor mate, about making him as comfortable as possible through it.  
  
“Okay,” Jensen replies simply. “When?”  
  
“Few hours,” Jared mutters, burying his face further into the curve of Jensen’s neck, “maybe less.”  
  
Jensen can feel the tension in Jared’s frame, can hear it in the tone of his voice and it confuses him. And once again makes him wish that he was a werecat as well, that he could just _know_ what’s wrong and how to fix it. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Jensen asks softly.  
  
Jared sighs again, long fingers fiddling with the hem of Jensen’s t-shirt. “Nothin’,” he replies quietly.  
  
Jensen frowns and reaches up, gently pulling Jared back enough to see his eyes. “I may not be able to sense your emotions,” Jensen murmurs a little bitterly. “But I know you well enough by now to know that _something_ is wrong. So, since I don’t have the luxury of a handy insight, you’re gonna have to tell me.”  
  
Jared blinks owlishly, brow furrowed. “What… I don’t… What’s wrong with _you_?” Jared eventually stammers.  
  
Jensen sighs, his eyes sliding closed, and leans his head back against the back of his chair. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs. “I just… I guess lately I’ve been thinkin’ about the fact that I can’t sense you and it just. It bothers me, more than I thought it would.”  
  
Jared reaches up and palms his cheek and Jensen reopens his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Jen…”  
  
“It does to me,” Jensen interrupts, tone harder than he meant it to be. He licks his lips and inhales slowly, shakes his head, huffs out another sigh. “It does to me,” he repeats, softer. “If I was a were, I’d just _know_ what’s bothering you, how to help. You can sense my emotions and you have this link with the kids that I never will…” Jensen trails off, shaking his head again. “Sometimes it just bothers me.”  
  
“I can’t sense everything from you,” Jared corrects quietly. “Just the really strong emotions. Mostly, it’s… it’s your scent that I go by.”  
  
“I don’t have _any_ of that,” Jensen mutters. “And even though I try not to let it, sometimes it brings up doubts and worries…”  
  
“Doubts about me?” Jared whispers, eyes wide and dewy.  
  
“Never,” Jensen replies, soft but firm. “Doubts about _me_. How can I really be everything you need if the bond that we should have isn’t there?”  
  
“Haven’t we already talked about this?” Jared asks quietly. He lowers his eyes, watching his own long fingers as he twists Jensen’s shirt around them, over and over.  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs. He reaches up and palms both of Jared’s cheeks, pulling him forward enough to brush their lips together. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “It’s my issue.”  
  
“But it shouldn’t _be_ an issue,” Jared insists, frowning slightly. “Just because we don’t have that bond… I don’t love you any less.”  
  
Jensen smiles and brushes another kiss to Jared’s lips. “I know, sweetheart. Me too. And like I said, I’m sorry. I promise to stop worryin’ about it.” Jared finally smiles back at him and closes his eyes, leaning into Jensen’s hands a bit. “Now, how ‘bout you tell me what’s botherin’ you?”  
  
Jared’s cheeks flush beneath Jensen’s palms and his mate bites down on his bottom lip, chewing on the thin skin. Jensen pulls his lip loose with his thumb, brushing over the abused flesh. “Talk to me,” Jensen urges.  
  
“I just,” Jared sighs, nose wrinkling. “I guess it’s still just a little embarrassing,” he eventually admits.  
  
“Your heat?”  
  
“Yeah. I mean, this is only the second one I’ve had with you and I just… I don’t know,” he sighs again.  
  
Jensen smiles and shakes his head fondly, kissing Jared once again. Jared finally reopens his eyes and looks up at Jensen through his lashes. “Honestly? I think it’s pretty freakin’ hot,” Jensen shrugs one shoulder. He slides one hand back into Jared’s hair, fingers tangled in the messy strands, his other hand dropping to the small of Jared’s back, rubbing gently against the warm, sweat-slick skin. “Love how wet you get for me,” he whispers, tone coming out a little raspy and gravelly. “How much you want me, how much you _need_ me…”  
  
“Jensen,” Jared moans softly, his sweet scent growing, as he rocks his hips just slightly.  
  
“How ‘bout we call my mom and have her take the kids for a few days,” Jensen suggests, sliding his hand down over the swell of Jared’s ass. “We can spend the whole time in bed, tangled together.”  
  
Jared dips his head down, nuzzling beneath Jensen’s jaw, purring loudly. “Call her,” he rasps, teeth scraping over Jensen’s fluttering pulse.  
  
Jensen inhales deeply and closes his eyes, hand moving away from Jared’s ass. He needs to calm the hell down before he calls his mother. Jared whines and bites down harder, purring even louder. “Wait for me in the bedroom?” Jensen asks, voice hoarse. Jared pulls away and pouts at him, tail swishing, curling around Jensen’s leg. “Gotta calm down if I’mma call my mom, baby,” Jensen mutters.  
  
Jared grins, eyes twinkling with arousal – and Jensen’s pretty sure a fair amount of mischief – and nods. But instead of climbing out of Jensen’s lap, Jared leans forward, grabs both sides of his face, and slams their lips together, instantly pushing to deepen the kiss. Jensen moans, hands curling around Jared’s lean waist, his cock twitching when Jared rolls his hips. “Hurry,” Jared murmurs into the kiss, biting at Jensen’s bottom lip. Jensen gasps when Jared pulls away and finally climbs out of his lap. He reaches down and palms his aching length, watching as his mate walks toward the door, hips swaying, tail swishing.  
  
Jared pauses once he opens the door and looks back, heat and need in his lust-blown hazel eyes. “Hurry,” he repeats.  
  
XXX  
  
Jensen’s mom is thrilled to take the kids. Jensen stammers through the explanation of _why_ , his cheeks heated with embarrassment and his arousal effectively calmed. It seems like the conversation, then waiting for her to drive over and pick them up, takes forever. Logically Jensen knows it’s probably only been about an hour but that’s entirely too much time to spend away from his sweet, sexy, horny mate. Just knowing that Jared is in their room, waiting for him, makes him crazy.  
  
Jensen packed the kids up while he waited for her to drive up from Richardson – only about a twenty minute drive – but it still takes another twenty to thirty minutes to get her and the kids out of the house. The kids don’t want to go, then they want to say good-bye to Daddy, and of course his mom wants to talk. Jensen loves his children and his mother but he can smell Jared’s arousal wafting down the hallway and it’s seriously playing hell with his libido. He never thought he’d _ever_ pop wood while standing in his living room, talking to his mother about his kids’ potty-training but damn if it isn’t about to happen.  
  
Finally, Jensen wrangles all three tiny terrors and helps his mom get them settled into his car – he’s got the carseats and rather than switching, and taking even _longer_ , he and Jared will just drive her car back to her in a few days – pressing a kiss to the top of each curly head of hair, then a kiss to his mom’s cheek, and watches them drive away. The taillights are barely out of sight before Jensen darts back into the house, locking up behind him, stripping as he nearly runs back down the hallway.  
  
He stumbles to a stop just inside their bedroom, choking on a broken moan of Jared’s name, unable to think, barely able to breathe. Jared’s spread out in the middle of their bed, tail curled around one long leg, the tip twitching. He’s got one hand wrapped around his thick, leaking cock, two fingers of his other hand buried inside his hole. His hair is a mess of sweat-damp curls fanned out against the pillows, his cheeks flushed and his eyes fever-bright but dark with lust. His bitten-red lips part around a moan and he arches his back, pushing his own fingers in deeper. Jensen can hear the wet squelch of his natural slick, can see it smeared over his hand, the curve of his ass, the insides of his thighs. He’s so achingly, beautifully sexy and Jensen is the luckiest person in the whole world.  
  
“Jensen,” Jared whimpers, spreads his legs wider, hips jerking up off the mattress. “Please… ‘s started, babe. Need you…”  
  
Jensen snaps out of his Jared-induced haze and stumbles to the bed, crawling up between those long, long legs. He dips down and licks around Jared’s fingers, groaning at the addictive combination of the sweetness of Jared’s slick and the saltiness of his skin. Jared mewls and Jensen gets his shoulders beneath Jared’s legs, spreading him open a little more, one of his own fingers pushing in next to the two Jared’s still working into himself. He licks around their fingers again, lapping at Jared’s stretched rim, his cock twitching almost painfully, smearing pre-come across his abs.  
  
“Jen,” Jared nearly sobs, whole body trembling. Jensen reluctantly pulls away from Jared’s rim and gently bats his other hand away from his cock. Grabbing the base, Jensen slips his lips over the swollen head, tongue digging into the weeping slit. He bobs his head a few times, cheeks hollowed, his finger still thrusting into Jared’s entrance. Jared cries out hoarsely, back arching, inner muscles clamping down then fluttering as he comes. Jensen swallows every drop of his sweet, mellow release, moaning right along with Jared as he works him through it.  
  
He pulls away once the trembling aftershocks have passed, gently pulling his finger out then grabbing Jared’s wrist and pulling his own fingers out as well. Jared’s eyes are barely open but he’s staring up at Jensen, chest heaving, his cock still hard despite the orgasm. Jared licks his lips, a slow, sweet, slightly sleepy smile curling up his lips. “C’mere?” Jared whispers.  
  
Jensen returns the smile and crawls the rest of the way up the bed, settling between Jared’s legs. He hisses when his still aching cock brushes against the slick curve of Jared’s ass and Jared reaches out, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, pulling him down into a sweet, mostly chaste kiss. “Sorry for startin’ without you,” Jared murmurs.  
  
“Don’t be,” Jensen rasps. “Was hot as hell, baby. Gonna have you do that again so I can just sit back and watch.”  
  
Jared wraps his legs around Jensen’s waist, his tail brushing against Jensen’s thigh, Jensen’s cock rubbing along the slick cleft of his ass. “What took so long?”  
  
“Mom had to drive up then wanted to talk. The kids didn’t wanna go,” Jensen answers absently, rocking his hips, sliding through Jared’s slick, head of his cock catching on his loosened rim every so often.  
  
Jared frowns, concern darkening his eyes for a moment. “Were they okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen breathes, shifting his weight a bit to slide his arms beneath Jared’s back, fingers curling over his shoulders. “By the time they left, they were excited to spend a few days with grams.”  
  
Jared smiles, relief obvious. “Okay,” he whispers. His hands slide down Jensen’s back, over the curve of his ass, then back up, fingers digging into his shoulderblades. Jensen’s cock once again catches on Jared’s rim, just the very tip sinking into him and Jared gasps softly. “Do it,” he breathes.  
  
Jensen swallows thickly and nods, twisting his hips just slightly, jaw clenching when he sinks into Jared’s still tight, wet heat. Jared moans softly, his eyes fluttering closed. He clings to Jensen, thrusting against every roll of Jensen’s hips. They automatically fall into the rhythm that they’ve perfected over the years and Jensen finds himself staring at Jared, unable to look away, watching the pleasure break across his beautiful face.  
  
Jensen gets the angle just right, hitting Jared’s prostate on every other thrust and Jared blinks his eyes open again, smiling when he sees Jensen already looking at him. “What?” he whispers.  
  
And because Jared makes him a huge freaking sap, Jensen shakes his head, smiles back, murmurs, “I love you.”  
  
Jared’s smile is brilliant, breathtaking. “I love you,” he replies easily.  
  
They’re both mostly quiet after that; a few murmured words here and there, a few breathy moans, Jared mewling softly when Jensen twists his hips and pushes in deep. Jared arches his back and Jensen grips his shoulders, muscles straining as he sits back, bringing Jared with him. His mate gasps, keens out a low breath, spreads his legs wide across Jensen’s. Their chests press together, Jared’s arms around his shoulders, face buried in Jensen’s neck as he rolls his hips, riding Jensen with short, sharp movements. Jensen presses one hand against the base of Jared’s spine, right above his tail, his other hand shoving between their stomachs. Jared mewls when Jensen wraps his fingers around his straining cock, whimpers when he starts to stroke, thumb smearing through the milky mix of come and pre-come.  
  
Jared tosses his head back, crying out when he comes. Jensen takes over the rhythm again as best as he can, working Jared through his orgasm, the arm around his waist tightening to hold him close. Jared huffs out a breath and melts against Jensen’s chest when he’s done and Jensen thrusts up, thighs and abs straining as he hits his own climax, groaning, head turned into the sweat-damp mess of Jared’s hair. Jensen holds Jared in his lap until his cock softens and slides free then gently lays him back down onto the bed. Jared’s mostly asleep but his cheeks are flushed from his heat and his cock is still mostly hard.  
  
Jensen settles down next to him and Jared turns onto his side, cuddles up against Jensen. He’s fully asleep within moments. Jensen gently cards his hand through Jared’s hair, pushing the damp strands away from his face, and watches him sleep.  
  
XXX  
  
Jensen settles against the back curve of the bathtub, smiling when Jared settles down between his legs and curls up against his chest. It’s been a long, extremely pleasurable, three days. Jared’s heat has waned for the moment, leaving him sleepy but coherent. As enjoyable as all the sex has been, Jensen can admit that he’s glad for the break.  
  
He closes his eyes and slides one hand into Jared’s hair, idly playing with the damp curls, humming happily in the back of his throat when Jared starts to purr and buries his face in the curve of Jensen’s neck. Now probably isn’t the best time to bring this up but he’s been thinking about it a lot over the last few days in between the numerous rounds of sex, his brain running a mile a minute while watching Jared sleep instead of taking the chance to sleep himself. But he knows that if he doesn’t bring it up himself, Jared will catch on sooner or later, would have probably already if it wasn’t for the haze of his heat.  
  
“Can I ask you something?” he asks softly, gently – mostly subconsciously – tightening his arms around Jared.  
  
“’course,” Jared murmurs. “Can ask me anything, Jen, you know that.”  
  
Jensen inhales deeply, exhales slowly, and reopens his eyes, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling. “Is it possible to turn a human?” he asks before he can talk himself out of it.  
  
To his disappointment, Jared pulls away. His eyes are wide when Jensen forces himself to look at him and Jensen can’t read the emotion in those hazel depths. “Why?” Jared whispers.  
  
“You know why,” Jensen sighs.  
  
“I… I thought you were gonna stop worrying about this,” Jared frowns.  
  
“I’ve tried… I can’t,” Jensen admits quietly.  
  
“It’s been three days, Jensen,” Jared huffs, frown deepening. “And we’ve spent most of that time having sex.”  
  
“I know,” Jensen mutters. “When you’d fall asleep, I’d start thinkin’ about it again. Instead of sleeping myself, I’d lay there and watch you and I couldn’t stop myself from wishing that I could be everything for you…”  
  
“You are!” Jared snaps. He closes his eyes and runs one hand through his hair, his ears flicking in agitation. “You are,” he repeats, barely a whisper, when he reopens his eyes. “I love you, Jensen. It has _never_ mattered to me that you’re human.”  
  
“I love you, too,” Jensen replies quietly. “And that’s why this means so much to me.” He reaches out and palms Jared’s cheek, his mate leaning into the touch.  
  
“You don’t have to do this for me,” Jared whispers.  
  
“I know that,” Jensen smiles sadly. He inhales deeply, huffs out a sigh. “And it’s… I’m just askin’, baby. It’s just a question. Can it be done?”  
  
Jared sighs and pulls away from Jensen’s hand, turning to face him completely. “It’s possible,” Jared states quietly, carefully. Even though Jensen meant it when he said it was just a question he can’t stop the surge of hope that fills him. “But it’s not something that’s done.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Mostly because of the fact that werecats are so insulated,” Jared shrugs one shoulder. “We don’t usually have a lot of interaction with humans. And the ones in the past that had mated with a human left the pack so there’s no way to know if they ever turned their mates.” Jared licks his lips, his brow furrowed, his hazel eyes miserable and a little wet when he looks up at Jensen. “Other than that, it’s… It’s said to be dangerous.” Jensen raises his eyebrows in question, silently urging Jared to continue. “When I was little,” he eventually goes on, “Maybe about ten, I overheard our Alpha talking about a human being turned in other pride. She… She didn’t make it,” Jared whispers, voice cracking. “And her mate died within days from guilt and a broken heart.”  
  
“Is that the only instance you’ve heard of?” Jensen asks quietly, his heart aching at the misery and fear in Jared’s eyes. Jared sniffles softly and nods. Jensen pulls Jared back into his arms, squeezing him gently.  
  
“If something happened to you,” Jared rasps, tucking his head under Jensen’s jaw. “I just… I can’t, Jensen. It’s too big a risk. I can’t lose you… And the kids…” he trails off, breath hitching.  
  
“Shh, baby,” Jensen coos. “Like I said, just a question.” But because Jensen has always been too curious for his own good and he still can’t help but want this, he asks, “If a turning was ever successful, what would happen?”  
  
“What’d’ya mean?” Jared asks softly.  
  
“Would the human grow ears and a tail? What would change?”  
  
Jared huffs out a sigh and pulls back to look up at him, rolling his eyes. “I know you’ve heard the saying about curiosity and cats,” Jared frowns.  
  
Jensen can’t help but chuckle softly, pressing a kiss to Jared’s downturned lips. “I have,” he agrees. “But you also know that I’m ridiculously curious. It’s the writer in me,” Jensen shrugs.  
  
Jared sighs again but resettles against Jensen’s chest. Jensen wraps his arms around his waist, idly, absentmindedly playing with Jared’s tail. “Since I know that you’re really asking what would happen to _you_ ,” Jared starts, glancing at Jensen out of the corner of his eye, “you’d be like the kids. You wouldn’t end up with the ears and tail but you would be able to shift and purr and there would be the bond between us,” he pauses, licks his lips, his cheeks flushing slightly, “and you’d have barbs on your cock,” he adds, barely above a whisper.  
  
Jensen can’t help but cringe a little. He knows enough about actual cats to know how they breed – and Jared mentioned the barbs once before – but he can’t imagine that would be pleasant. “Wouldn’t that hurt?” he asks incredulously.  
  
Jared’s cheeks pink up even more and he dips his head, glancing at Jensen through his lashes. “Well, obviously I have no experience,” he mutters. “But, uh, from what I’ve heard… No, not really. Some even say that it’s actually pleasurable.” After a few moments of silence, Jared inhales deeply and shakes his head. “But it doesn’t matter. Jensen, please don’t ask me to do this. I can’t take the risk that something’ll go wrong.”  
  
Jensen squeezes his arms around Jared and presses a kiss to the side of his lips. “I know, sweetheart. It’s okay. Don’t worry, alright? Like I told you, I was just curious.”  
  
Jared closes his eyes and relaxes against Jensen completely. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he breathes.  
  
“I’m right here, Jay,” Jensen murmurs, kissing Jared’s forehead, his cheek, his lips. “Don’t worry.”  
  
XXX  
  
Jensen knows that he should let it go, that he should honor his mate’s request and not push. But now that the thought is in his head, it won’t go away.  
  
After they drive into Richardson once Jared’s heat has passed to have dinner with Jensen’s family and pick up the kids, Jensen shuts himself in his office and starts digging into some research. Several hours of frustration lead to nothing so in an extremely desperate last-ditch effort to find out what he needs to know, Jensen calls Jared’s friend Chad. He’s talked to Chad a few times since their one visit to Jared’s pride but it’s mostly been Chad asking for Jared after Jensen answers the phone.  
  
Chad’s surprise to hear from Jensen is evident in his voice – hell, Jensen’s still surprised too – but he listens quietly as Jensen explains what he wants, what he needs. Once he’s finished, Chad’s silent for a few moments then asks simply, “Why?”  
  
“What’d’ya mean, why?” Jensen huffs. “I think it’s kinda obvious…”  
  
“Not really, dude,” Chad mutters. “Man, Jaybird obviously loves you as is. He mated with you. That isn’t something that we take lightly. _Especially_ omegas.”  
  
“I just,” Jensen sighs, rubs one hand down over his face, “I feel like I can’t be what he needs, not completely. He’s told me a bit about the link between weres and the bond between mates. We don’t have that. _Jared_ doesn’t have that. And it kills me to think that it’s something that he has to miss out on, that he has to give up, to be with me.” He closes his eyes and pictures Jared, his sweet, beautiful mate with his soft, loving smile. “You mated, Chad?” Jensen asks softly.  
  
“Yeah, man,” Chad replies and Jensen can hear the smile in his tone. “To the most beautiful beta. Her name’s Sophia.”  
  
“So you have that bond with her,” Jensen states, reopening his eyes. There’s a picture on his desk of Jared and their kids, all four asleep in Jensen and Jared’s bed. Jensen smiles sadly. “Imagine _not_ having it. Not knowing how she feels, what she needs. Imagine not knowing every little thing about her.” He reaches out and traces the tips of his fingers over the picture, following the lines of Jared’s body. “I love him, more than I ever thought it’d be possible to love someone,” Jensen continues quietly. “I’d die for him in a heartbeat and I want to give him everything.”  
  
“I know he told you that this is really freakin’ dangerous,” Chad replies, just as quietly. “Even if I tell you that there are cases where everything turned out fine, you _know_ that there are cases where it doesn’t. Can you honestly do that to him? Ask him to risk it? ‘cause believe me, dude, for as much as you love him, I guarantee that he loves you just as much. It’ll kill him if something happens to you. And that’s not just me bein’ dramatic, man. He would literally die. We mate for life, man. And you can’t live without your mate.”  
  
“The kids though…”  
  
“Wouldn’t matter,” Chad interrupts. “He _might_ – and that’s a big fuckin’ might – linger for a bit for them but he’ll get sick and eventually the heartbreak would be too much.”  
  
“If your… If Sophia was human and asked you for this, would you do it? Knowing what you know about it and about the bond, all of it.”  
  
“I’d give that girl anything,” Chad sighs. “Fuck, dude. This is a fuckin’ conundrum. I get it, alright? I do. But I also know how bad this’ll be if things go sideways. And I can’t have this shit on my conscience if you push JT into this and end up bitin’ it, man.”  
  
“I’m not saying that I’ll do it even if you give me the info I need,” Jensen assures. “I just want all the facts, man. Jared told me about overhearing something when he was younger, about a turning that went bad in another pride. But that’s the only attempt he ever heard about.”  
  
“Soph is from another pride,” Chad states quietly. “And we’ve travelled a bit. I’ve heard cases of it workin’ fine, from several different prides. I was with JT when he heard that story when we were kids, man. And honestly, that’s the only case I’ve ever heard where things didn’t work out. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen, mind you. Could be that we just never heard the horror stories, ya know? No one wants to talk about the bad shit.”  
  
“Okay,” Jensen breathes. “Thanks, Chad.”  
  
“Just… Keep in mind what I said, okay?” Chad asks softly. “Despite him bein’ gone so long and shit, JT is still my best friend. And that kid’s got a heart of fuckin’ gold, man. Sure, there might be parts of being mated that y’all are missin’ out on but you love each other. Try and let that be enough.”  
  
Jensen mutters an agreement and hangs up, mind racing with what he’s learned, what he’s already been thinking about, what could go wrong and what could go right. He hears laughter from outside and turns to look out the window, watching as Jared chases their children around the backyard, all three kids shrieking with laughter. Jared’s smile is bright, almost blinding, and Jensen’s heart slams against his ribs. The air around his mate ripples and within seconds Jared’s chasing after three kittens, their sleek, tawny fur practically shimmering in the sunlight.  
  
The kids stumble over their own feet and each other’s, landing in a pile and rolling around together, biting at ears and tails, paws batting as they play-fight. Jared stops and looks up, right into Jensen’s window, their eyes catching. His mate blinks slowly, his tail swishing and Jensen smiles sadly. For the first time since he brought Jared home, since they mated, Jensen feels like he’s on the outside of his family looking in.  
  
He pushes himself up out of his chair, heading outside before his brain even registers the fact that his feet are moving. Three sets of soft, tiny meows greet him and the kids abandon playing to climb all over him when he drops down onto the grass with them. Jensen cuddles them close to his chest, fingers sliding through their fur, tickling under their tiny chins, scratching behind their ears. His eyes slide closed and he tries to calm his racing thoughts, tries to soothe the ache in his chest.  
  
Long, slender, slightly cool fingers brush against his cheeks and Jensen reopens his eyes and looks up at Jared. His mate’s eyes are wide, his brow furrowed, and he makes a soft, hurt noise in the back of his throat when he slides his fingers over Jensen’s cheeks again. His bottom lip trembles and he holds his fingers up for Jensen to see. The tips are wet. Jensen didn’t even realize that he’d been crying.  
  
“Jensen?” Jared whispers, tears pooling in his eyes as well.  
  
“Can you take them inside?” Jensen rasps.  
  
Jared blinks – a few tears breaking free to trickle down his pale cheeks – and nods, hurriedly wrangling the kids together and leading them inside. He’s got the baby monitor in his hand when he comes back outside, nearly running across the yard. He collapses in front of Jensen, landing heavily on his knees and Jensen instantly reaches out, momentarily concerned that Jared hurt himself. “Easy,” he hears himself murmur.  
  
Jared waves his concern away and scoots closer, shifting to sit on his butt, long legs spread wide around Jensen, sitting close enough that their chests almost touch. Jared reaches up and touches Jensen’s cheek again. “Why’re you crying?” he whispers. “I… God, Jensen,” he gasps, one hand rubbing against his own chest as he cringes. “You… You feel devastated,” he breathes, his eyes squeezing closed for a few seconds. “And you smell… sad, hopeless…” he reopens his eyes, still rubbing his own chest. “It hurts,” he whimpers.  
  
Jensen reaches out and wraps his arms around Jared, burying his face in the curve of Jared’s neck. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I don’t wanna hurt you. I don’t mean to…”  
  
“I know,” Jared whispers back. “I’ve just never felt _anything_ this strong from you.” Long fingers scramble against the sides of his face, clumsily pulling him back to look into Jared’s eyes. “Please, Jensen? Tell me what’s wrong, love?”  
  
Jensen leans forward, their foreheads pressing together, his hands cupping Jared’s cheeks as well. His mate is openly crying now and it makes Jensen feel even worse. Jared whimpers and curls forward a bit, squeezing his eyes closed. “Jensen,” he sobs.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jensen breathes, brushing kisses to Jared’s lips, his wet cheeks. “I love you so much, Jared.”  
  
“I love you, too,” Jared sniffles, scooting impossibly closer, his long legs wrapping around Jensen’s hips.  
  
Jensen inhales slowly, exhales shakily, tries to calm down. He’s _hurting_ Jared and it’s killing him. Chad’s warnings run through his mind. Is he being too selfish?  
  
“Shh,” Jared coos, tips of his fingers gently rubbing Jensen’s scalp behind his ears. “Talk to me, love. What’re you doubting?”  
  
Jensen sits back just enough to look into Jared’s eyes. He reaches up and grabs Jared’s hands, lacing their fingers together, letting them rest between them in Jared’s lap. “I love you,” he says again, gently squeezing Jared’s fingers. Jared flashes him a small smile and nods, eyes still filled with tears but also with love. “I was doubting myself,” he admits. “And I was thinking, wondering, if I’m selfish…”  
  
“Jensen,” Jared breathes, eyes widening slightly. “Not at all. You’re _selfless_. You saved me, brought me here, gave me a home and a family and the best mate I could ever want…”  
  
“That’s not what I’m talkin’ about, sweetheart,” Jensen cuts him off gently.  
  
“Then what’re you talking about?” Jared urges.  
  
Jensen licks his lips and sighs. “I was in my office,” he confesses softly. “Watchin’ you and the kids out here. You looked up at me…”  
  
“I felt you,” Jared murmurs. “You felt so sad. That’s what made me look up.”  
  
“I felt… out of place,” Jensen admits. “Left out, I guess.”  
  
“That’s crazy,” Jared shakes his head, brow furrowed. “You’re the biggest part of our lives, Jen.”  
  
“I’ll never have what you have with them,” Jensen rasps. “I’ll never have what you have with me. I know I promised that I’d stop thinking about it, that I wouldn’t ask you,” Jared’s eyes widen, filling with panic, his head shaking slowly, and Jensen squeezes his fingers, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I heard your story, Jay, I did. But there are cases, many more in fact, where it didn’t go bad like that.”  
  
“How… What…”  
  
“I called Chad,” Jensen admits, cringing slightly. “I told him what I’ve been feeling and thinking and I asked him if there are any success stories out there.”  
  
“You… called Chad,” Jared repeats slowly.  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs, his shoulders slumping. “I had to know, Jared. And I can’t tell you how sorry I am…”  
  
“What did Chad say?” Jared asks quietly, his voice oddly devoid of any emotion or inflection, his eyes strangely blank.  
  
“He told me about his mate and told me that he’s heard of turnings that went right. And he told me that I should just try to let the fact that we love each other be enough,” Jensen sighs. “See? Selfish.”  
  
“Isn’t it enough?” Jared asks, still not showing any emotion at all. It’s starting to worry Jensen.  
  
“It is,” Jensen whispers, throat tight with emotion. “Of course it is.”  
  
“Then I don’t understand,” Jared whispers back, voice cracking, eyes miserable now.  
  
“I don’t really either,” Jensen admits. “All I can say is that I feel like I’m taking something away from you. I wanna give you everything, Jay.” Jensen closes his eyes, jaw clenching. “I want this, so much. For you. And not because you asked for it or even because you need it. I know that you don’t. I just wanna feel like I’m good enough, that I’m doing something right. I want that stupid little voice in the back of my head that says that you’d be better off with someone of your own kind to go away.”  
  
Jensen gasps, jerking in surprise, his eyes snapping open when Jared brushes a kiss to his lips. “I love you,” Jared states, soft but firm. “I _chose_ you. You’ve given me everything, Jensen. You’re already a perfect mate.” He pauses, inhales deeply, exhales slowly. “This really means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” he asks softly.  
  
“Deep down, I’m terrified that one day you’ll regret this, us,” Jensen admits, barely above a whisper.  
  
“You know that’s stupid, right?” Jared huffs, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. But he’s smiling softly, fondly. “Weres mate for life, love.”  
  
“We don’t really have that bond though,” Jensen states quietly, finally saying what neither of them have before. Sure, they’ve chosen each other but unlike true mateships, there isn’t a bond keeping them together. Jared could very well decide one day that he made a mistake and walk away. “You… You’re amazing, Jared. And too good for me. I don’t deserve you…”  
  
“Stop it,” Jared huffs. “Just… stop.” He licks his lips, eyes squeezing closed. “I’m scared,” he whispers.  
  
“I know,” Jensen murmurs. “Me too, honestly.”  
  
Jared swallows thickly and reopens his eyes, tears once again filling them. “I know it’s stupid,” he rasps. “But just. Promise me that you’ll be okay. Please?”  
  
Jensen reaches up and palms Jared’s cheek, thumb brushing over his bottom lip. “I promise,” he chokes out. “Ain’t no way I’mma leave you, you hear me? You’re stuck with me, darlin’.”  
  
Jared chuckles wetly and reaches up, wiping at his cheeks. “Good,” he whispers hoarsely. “’mma hold you to that.”  
  
Jensen smiles and nods, reaches up and grabs the back of Jared’s neck, pulling him forward into a sloppy, desperate kiss. Jared half sobs out a moan and practically crawls the rest of the way into Jensen’s lap, fingers digging into his face. They cling to each other as they kiss, both of them crying. Jared eventually pulls away and takes a few shaky breaths.  
  
“The change is pretty much instantaneous,” he rasps. “So we’ll know…” He reaches down and grabs the hem of Jensen’s t-shirt, pulling it up and off. “We’ll get through that first then deal with the rest. I’ll tell you what you need to know, help you through it, so long as things…”  
  
“Everything’s gonna be fine,” Jensen cuts him off, gentle but firm. “I love you and I trust you.”  
  
“I love you,” Jared whimpers, grabbing his face for another nearly brutal, desperate kiss.  
  
Before Jensen can say anything else, Jared pulls away, grabbing a handful of hair and jerks his head to the side. Jensen sees a flash of razor-sharp incisors a split-second before he feels them sink into the crook of his shoulder. He gasps, pain shooting through his entire body, freezing his muscles. For a few eternally-long moments it feels like he’s dying, like it went horribly wrong and through the haze of agony he regrets asking – demanding – this, knowing that it’s going to kill Jared as well.  
  
But then everything snaps back into focus, sharper than ever before. Warmth flows through his entire body and he feels the rasp of a sandpaper-rough tongue over the bite mark. He opens his eyes – didn’t even realize that he’d closed them – and suddenly his entire mind, body, heart, _soul_ erupts with _Jared_. He gasps, body trembling, hands scrambling at Jared’s cheeks, smearing through tears and blood. Jared looks up at him, wide-eyed, lips parted, red with Jensen’s blood.  
  
“I can feel you,” Jensen whispers. “Oh God… _Jared_ …”  
  
Jared whines in the back of his throat and surges forward. Their lips slam together and Jensen can taste the salt of tears and the coppery tang of blood and the sweetness of Jared. His mate mewls and kisses him back, hard, clawing at his shoulders. Jensen has no idea how long they sit tangled together, kissing, but when they eventually pull back, both their chests are heaving and his lips are numb and tingling.  
  
“How d’you feel?” Jared asks softly, fingers sliding over Jensen’s face, his chest, his shoulders.  
  
“Amazing,” Jensen breathes. He stares into Jared’s eyes, can _feel_ his mate’s relief, the overwhelming love Jared has for him and it nearly takes his breath away. “Can you… D’you feel that too?” he rasps.  
  
“I do,” Jared smiles. His eyes flutter closed and he exhales shakily, his shoulders finally relaxing as he leans into Jensen’s chest, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen can’t stop touching, hands in constant motion as his brain and heart are bombarded by everything Jared is feeling. For just a moment, Jensen closes his eyes as well and _pushes_ , expanding his senses in a way that just seems to come naturally and he can feel their children, all three of them sleeping peacefully, curled up together.  
  
A loud purr shatters the pleasant silence between them and Jensen jerks when he realizes that it is coming from _him_. For almost three years he’s listened to, and been comforted by, Jared’s purr. It’s a bit startling to be able to do it himself now. Jared snuggles closer, his own purr softer, gentler, but no less content.  
  
_I love you_.  
  
Jensen blinks his eyes open and glances down, finds Jared staring up at him. “Did you just…” he trails off, blinking owlishly.  
  
“One of the perks of the bond,” Jared grins. Jensen can’t help but smile back, dipping down to press a kiss to Jared’s lips. “Wanna learn to shift?” Jared asks softly.  
  
Jensen nods and reluctantly lets Jared crawl out of his lap. They sit together, facing each other, legs crossed, bent knees touching. Jared gently takes Jensen’s hands, holds them loosely. “It’ll be weird at first,” Jared explains. “And something that you’ll have to think about doing. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes second nature, really.”  
  
Jensen licks his lips and nods. “Okay, so what do I do?”  
  
“Close your eyes and turn your senses inside,” Jared instructs quietly. Jensen does as he’s told, focuses on nothing but the soothing sound of Jared’s voice and what he’s feeling inside himself. He frowns, his brow furrowing. There’s _a lot_ inside right now. “Ignore everything else,” Jared urges softly. “For right now, push me and the kids aside, just focus on you.”  
  
Jensen does. He gasps when he feels bones and sinew, tendons and skin, _everything_ kind of stretch and pop and realign. He opens his eyes and looks up at Jared, blinking slowly. Jared smiles, his eyes a little watery, and reaches out, fingers gentle as they rub over the side of his face. “You’re beautiful,” he breathes.  
  
Jensen glances down, jerking in surprise when he sees his front legs – even though he was expecting it. His fur is tan, a shade or two lighter than Jared and the kids, but the tips of his paws are snow white. He stands up shakily, nearly falls when he tries to take a step. Jared giggles and Jensen growls, jerking again at the noise, reaching up with one paw to rub at his ears when they twitch. His tail swishes and Jensen’s head snaps around, blinking slowly. The very tip of his tail is white too and he twitches his nose, amusing himself for a few minutes with moving it back and forth.  
  
His attention snaps forward again when he feels a sleek, long body rub against him, purring when he sees that Jared has shifted as well and is rubbing against him. He nudges their faces together and Jensen doesn’t even think about it before letting his tongue dart out, licking the side of Jared’s cheek. Jared purrs softly – it’s so weird, the difference between their purrs – and moves closer, their bodies twisting together as they lay down in the grass. Jensen spends a few long minutes licking Jared’s face, his ears, down his long neck and Jared closes his eyes, leaning into the grooming.  
  
They spend a little longer in cat form before Jensen closes his eyes, focusing inward again, and shifts back. Jared does as well, leaving them laying together, still tangled around each other. “Anything else I need to know right now?” Jensen asks softly, reaching up, one hand carding through Jared’s hair.  
  
“No, not really,” Jared murmurs.  
  
Jensen nods and presses a kiss to Jared’s lips. “I’m kinda tired. Is that normal?”  
  
“Probably,” Jared shrugs. “You’ve been through a lot with the change and the emotions before and everything.”  
  
“I… I’m sorry about all that.”  
  
“Things worked out,” Jared smiles.  
  
“Yeah, but I can feel the leftover worry and fear,” Jensen points out. “And yeah, things did work out but I’m sorry for pushin’ you into it.”  
  
“Now that everything’s okay, I’m not,” Jared replies softly. “Things were perfect before, they really were. And I would’ve been happy with that for the rest of our lives…”  
  
“I know, baby,” Jensen murmurs, squeezing his mate gently. “Me too.”  
  
“But I can admit that I’m glad that we did it,” Jared adds quietly. “Bein’ able to feel you…”  
  
Jensen kisses him, slow and deep and thorough. “You don’t have to explain,” he murmurs against Jared’s lips. “I get it, sweetheart.” He sighs softly and pulls away, holding out a hand to help Jared up once he’s standing. “Let’s go check on the kids then follow their example and take a nap.”  
  
Jared grins and lets Jensen pull him toward the house.  
  
XXX  
  
Jensen wakes up to the warm weight of his mate spread across his chest, Jared’s head tucked beneath his chin. Jared’s purring softly, his hips just barely grinding down, mostly-hard cock rubbing against Jensen’s thigh. Jensen slides one hand down Jared’s spine, presses against the small of his back, his other hand tangling in Jared’s hair. He catches a whiff of Jared’s arousal – so much stronger now – and a flash of emotions – love and need and lust – and it sends a warm tingle through his whole body.  
  
Jared turns his head and nuzzles under his jaw, inhaling deeply, a low groan rumbling in his chest. Jensen’s brow furrows when he catches another scent just beneath Jared’s – warm and spicy, a perfect complement to Jared’s spun-sugar and fresh air. Jared giggles softly and mouths wetly at Jensen’s thundering pulse. “That’s you, love,” Jared murmurs, his nose sliding up the hinge of Jensen’s jaw. “Smell so good,” he adds softly.  
  
Jensen tightens his hold around Jared and flips them over, smashing their lips together before Jared’s back even settles against the mattress. He briefly expands his senses like he did in the backyard to the kids – they’re all still asleep and safe – then shuts that part of his mind off, focusing solely on Jared.  
  
“You’ll get used to being able to feel all of us,” Jared states softly, smiling when Jensen quirks an eyebrow. “Don’t forget, the whole bond thing goes both ways, Jen.”  
  
Jensen smirks and pictures himself thrusting into Jared, his mate moaning and writhing against him and Jared’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing, his scent getting thicker, sweeter. “Please,” he gasps, wrapping his long legs around Jensen’s waist, thrusting his hips up, their hard, leaking lengths rubbing together.  
  
Jensen manages to pull back just enough to get a hand between them, tips of his fingers sliding over Jared’s rim, his cock twitching when he feels how wet his mate is. Gripping the base of his cock, Jensen lines up, their gazes locked together as he easily sinks into Jared’s tight, wet heat. Jared moans, clinging to his shoulders, his whole body trembling slightly. Jensen doesn’t stop until he’s buried to the hilt, wraps his arms around Jared and holds him as close as possible, their lips crashing together in a messy, frantic kiss.  
  
Jensen slowly starts to move, trying to keep the pace steady and even, trying to make it last as long as possible despite Jared’s breathless pleading and the feedback of pleasure he can feel from his mate through their bond. Jared presses his head back against the pillow, arching the long, beautiful line of his neck, head turned just slightly to the side. Even though Jensen knows what Jared wants – he can feel it – what he was unable to give him when they first mated, he wants to hear Jared say it, still loves to hear him talk, loves the sound of his voice.  
  
“What, baby?” Jensen rasps. “Tell me, Jay.”  
  
“Claim me,” Jared breathes, arching his neck even more. “Please, Jensen. Mark me.”  
  
Jensen dips his head into the crook of Jared’s shoulder and laves over the sweat-salty flesh, nipping playfully, just scraping his teeth against the spot. Jared whines, his thighs tightening around Jensen’s hips, short fingernails clawing at his back, his shoulders. Closing his eyes, Jensen licks the same spot once more then bites down. Jared cries out harshly, arching and writhing beneath him and Jensen can’t help but moan at the taste of his mate’s blood coating his tongue. He pulls his hips back as far as he can, thrusts back in hard and fast and deep, nailing Jared’s sweet spot.  
  
Jared nearly screams, his untouched cock jerking between them as he comes, inner muscles clenching around Jensen. He pulls away from Jared’s neck, groaning harshly, eyes squeezing closed as he instantly follows Jared over the edge. He doesn’t really feel the barbs along his cock grow and attach to Jared but his mate cries out again, mewling and yowling, whole body trembling. He sounds like he’s in pain and Jensen’s eyes snap open, concern momentarily overtaking the pleasure and even though he can feel Jared’s emotions for a moment he doesn’t think, doesn’t trust it.  
  
“Jared?” he rasps, palming Jared’s face with one hand, trying to pull back.  
  
Jared squeezes his legs around Jensen, trapping him with those thick thigh muscles. “Don’t move,” Jared gasps. Jensen nods and tucks his hips closer, groaning softly when another, shorter wave of his orgasm hits. “’m okay,” Jared breathes after a few long moments, flashing him a smile.  
  
“You sounded like I was killin’ you,” Jensen mutters.  
  
“Not at all,” Jared closes his eyes, licks his lips, “You can feel me now, Jen. Trust that.”  
  
Jensen drops his head, their foreheads pressing together, and closes his own eyes. All he feels from Jared is bone-deep pleasure and love. _If you pull out before they go down_ , he hears the soft murmur of Jared’s voice in his head, _then **that** will hurt me._  
  
Jensen tilts his head and presses a kiss to Jared’s lips. Jared purrs happily and wraps his arms around Jensen’s shoulders again, tips of his fingers softly playing with the short hair at the nape of Jensen’s neck. They kiss lazily while they’re stuck together. It’s probably only been about five, maybe ten minutes, when Jared pulls away with a soft, loving smile. “Should be good now,” he says quietly.  
  
Jensen carefully pulls his hips back a little, testing it. His mostly-soft cock slips out of Jared and his mate huffs out a breath, nose wrinkling slightly. Jensen presses a kiss to the tip of his nose and sits back on his heels, unable to stop himself from looking, making completely sure that Jared’s okay. Jared huffs again and lazily smacks his arm but lets him look. His rim is a little pink and puffy but closed tight, not a drop of Jensen’s release leaking out of him.  
  
“Huh,” Jensen grunts, something warm – something like pride – welling up in his chest.  
  
Jared rolls his eyes and flicks him with his tail. “Cocky alpha,” he mutters. Jensen smirks at him, flashes him a wink, and he can tell Jared’s trying not to smile back. “That’s the whole purpose of the barbs, ya know,” Jared says. “Helps ensure a successful breeding and keeps others from being able to get in there.” Jensen frowns, growling softly in the back of his throat. Jared finally loses the battle against his smile. “Oh, don’t get all growly. It’s just biology, babe. Not really necessary anymore but still part of it.”  
  
Jensen settles down next to his mate, pulling Jared into his arms. Jared cuddles up against him happily and presses a kiss to the side of his lips. Jensen closes his eyes and snuggles closer, purring deep in his throat. That little niggle of worry that has always been in the back of his head is still there, despite everything. Jensen realizes that it’s just a part of him, that he’ll always worry about being a good mate, being worthy of Jared’s love. He’s glad that they took the chance and that the change worked but he realizes as well that he really didn’t need it, not like he thought he did. But he can’t regret it either. Especially when he feels the warmth of Jared’s presence – and the kids’ – brush against his mind and heart.


End file.
